How to stop falling down

rhythmatic vulture via flickr

rhythmatic vulture via flickr

Being graceful has never been my strong suit. When I was just a young thing slinging cocktails & cleaning tables at a well-known local restaurant, the owner told me once the only reason she hadn’t fired me  for breaking so many glasses is that her contract with the dinnerware company replaced them for free. I like to think she didn’t fire me for other reasons, those being slightly less embarrassing.  I say slightly because once, after falling flat on my behind in front of a restaurant full of people, I stood up and bowed and everyone laughed. She told me after that that she ‘liked my style.’ She liked I Love Lucy & Fat Actress, too. What’s my style, now? Oh, my.

There is a point to this, I promise I’m getting to it. Grace. Strong suit. Not. Okay, the point is:

Today, my clumsiness made me ruin something. Disappointing, of course, because it wasn’t cheap. And then I realized, the problem isn’t 100% clumsiness. The problem is that I’m not mindful, almost ever, of my surroundings, limbs, actions– and that results in a proportion of clumsiness that isn’t organic to me, it just correllates to my state of being. So I’ve resolved to be more mindful, but how? Buddhism suggests meditation, but if you know me you know my capacity to sit still for any longer than two consecutive minutes is essentially nil.

I don’t necessarily buy that mindfulness is something you can package into a practice such as meditation. I think it has to be something that’s with you at all times, not a mindfulness-cell that  you recharge like a battery with 15 minutes of Ohm.

But I could be wrong. I can’t sit still. How do you stay mindful, internet?

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One Response to “How to stop falling down”

  1. megan Says:

    im gonna have to say sitting still is a virtue that most people, nowadays, lack. and i think it is integral to being mindful of your surroundings. even if your mind wont allow you to “sit still”, you can regulate the way your mind drives you and try to train your mind to attempt sitting still where your body cannot. the body will follow. it always follows your mind.

    i dont know if that makes sense, but it makes sense to me. i think a lot, but at a slower pace than a lot of people. ill think lots and lots about one subject whereas lots of other peoples minds will think lots and lots about lots of different subjects. if you can train yourself to. focus. then, you can train your mind to train your body, and perhaps, (just a theory), your body will follow suit and therefore be more aware of your surroundings as well as your movements within said surroundings.

    of course, i bump into shit (classy!) and knock stuff over and get mad at myself for not being aware of my surroundings more and more lately. i used to feel like i glided through them. no more. maybe that is one of the symptoms of being a discontent 20something frantically trying to gain control and perspective on her life in time to greet 30 a steady, focused and plan-toting mature female. (i think i need to step back a bit and slow down to gain perspective, cause I’m not going to be a finished polished woman at 30, 40 or 80. there is no “finally, im who and where i want to be” maybe if i can accept that, my pace will retard(see i can use words correctly but it still sounds funny) and i won’t be as clumsy.

    to recap: it’s all in your mind. (control, that is)

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